Top Point of Being Nonchalant.

Last night it felt that a very important piece of my heart was ripped out.

After all these years, after something I have been looking forward to for a long time, and that is the best that you came up with?

I appreciate the idea, I guess… But there is a much better way of doing it.

That is what I would have done, because it is an important step and commitment in a relationship.

I don’t know what to think right now, because it feels like I am of no value if that is the way you think to go about it.

Really I am hurt. I really hoped for something more memorable and something to look forward to. It is a special moment, yet now it doesn’t even feel like it means anything to you at all.

How nonchalant can you be?

I’m shocked.

Of everything that is going on in my life right now, this is the the most hoped for thing I was looking forward to, but right now I feel so baffled, it feels like you’ve ruined some perfect illusion or fantasy that I had and now I just can’t imagine it anymore. I can’t think.

I don’t know. I want to curl up and cry. You have no idea the impact this made on me, and it couldn’t have happened on a worse time. At least if it happened right, then the “worse” would have changed to “best”…

Do you not have a clue how important this was/is to me?

Do I have to spell it out for you?

Are we not on the same page about this?

Whatever I do, I feel like I want to hold my heart because it aches.

Honestly, I can’t even comprehend this feeling.


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