Deliberate Info.

I deliberately gave some info to someone, which so far has all been the truth and will stay the truth and by all means innocent out of my mouth as I am not doing anything wrong, only baring some news, but I know it pisses her off so much. 

I hope it makes her feel the same way it made me feel. 

I hope it drills into her head and I hope she gets nightmares about it. 

I hope she feels bad for what she did to me. 

^ The above is what I feel. But honestly, I also feel bad that I feel that vindictive about it. Messed up situations. Messed up people. Messed up life and Messed up emotions.




I am connected to Twitter now. Follow me @Haruka_Desu

Will probably post more frequently on there, than on here. As is easier and takes less time, especially in the moment of a thought or something I feel like sharing.

It is still a great way for me to still stay Anonymous from my personal life and be able to have “Freedom of Speech” as I will not be trolled by my Daily Troll as is in my personal life and personal blog / twitter / facebook / instagram / whatsapp or even at work etc etc…

At the moment though it seems that Twitter consider me as a spam account, which does not make sense at all. So I will give it some time and see if anything happens.



Top Point of Being Nonchalant.

Last night it felt that a very important piece of my heart was ripped out.

After all these years, after something I have been looking forward to for a long time, and that is the best that you came up with?

I appreciate the idea, I guess… But there is a much better way of doing it.

That is what I would have done, because it is an important step and commitment in a relationship.

I don’t know what to think right now, because it feels like I am of no value if that is the way you think to go about it.

Really I am hurt. I really hoped for something more memorable and something to look forward to. It is a special moment, yet now it doesn’t even feel like it means anything to you at all.

How nonchalant can you be?

I’m shocked.

Of everything that is going on in my life right now, this is the the most hoped for thing I was looking forward to, but right now I feel so baffled, it feels like you’ve ruined some perfect illusion or fantasy that I had and now I just can’t imagine it anymore. I can’t think.

I don’t know. I want to curl up and cry. You have no idea the impact this made on me, and it couldn’t have happened on a worse time. At least if it happened right, then the “worse” would have changed to “best”…

Do you not have a clue how important this was/is to me?

Do I have to spell it out for you?

Are we not on the same page about this?

Whatever I do, I feel like I want to hold my heart because it aches.

Honestly, I can’t even comprehend this feeling.



I think this blog is the only privacy and small PIECE (yes I mean piece as in a portion of my mind that is private) of mind that I have all to myself without anyone in my Personal Life knowing about it or questioning it. So therefore none of them can “Troll” here.

Because I do have a “stalker”, who I know personally as well – but this person is obsessed with what is happening in my life, this person is stalking all of my social media every day. Luckily said “Troll” does not know jack shit about this blog.

It makes me feel relieved. Some people are just way too curious.

I don’t think it is necessary for everyone in a person’s life to know exactly everything about what is going on with your personal life all the time, we all have a side we keep to ourselves in certain matters sometimes.

I think these are the most common “sides” of each person.

  • Our Daily Selves, which Everyone Knows.
  • A Dark Side, which only Some People might Know about. Mostly a countable number of people, either none or 1 – 5 people.
  • And then there is that Deep side that are the most inner you, that only you know about. That “Anonymous” Side.

I think there is a lot more though… Some people might have less or more sides than others, that is a given.

Something like this:


(Drama Faces) Reminds me of the Different Sides to People.